My first DNS will be tomorrow. :(

I was all set to race tomorrow but my mouth has gotten in the way.  By that, I mean a huge abscess requiring a big scary root canal has presented itself and I can't get an appointment to fix it until Monday.  They did give me pain pills (which make me sleep all day).  I'm not sure I want to Open Water Swim when high on Vicodin and barely conscious. Although, it might be an improvement since I PANIC in open water!

Anyway, I am bummed.  And my least favorite tooth hurts.  And Vicodin is no fun.  Why do people take this for recreation?  I am sad and tired on it.  If that is better than not taking it for some people, I need to stop and count my blessings, like immediately.

Here's a totally unrelated graphic that makes me laugh every April 25th:

So,  no sprint tri tomorrow.  I'm tough, but I'm not mouth-pain tough. 

Some Forward Progress

Good news:  I have been running.  Just 3.1 every other day this week, but it is a start.  The busiest week of our busy season is pretty much past, so I can concentrate more on making the time to train.  I have been just squeezing it in when I found an hour, but I think I need a firm schedule or this house of cards is going down.

More good news:  With birthday money, I bought new shoes and some new tri shorts.  I had a one-piece suit, but I wanted just some shorts for another option.  They are nothing fancy - just black 2XU tri shorts.

Less than good news:  I haven't been swimming or biking and I have a Sprint Tri next Sunday.  I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally need to get on that this week.  I'd say it was the swimming that terrified me most, but I'm not so hot on the biking either.  I still need to get my bike in for a tune-up before then as well.  I am definitely having some DNS feelings about this race.  I think I can do it, but I will be dead last and that is never a good feeling.  I wonder if I don't commit and train like I should to give myself that mental "out" for being last or not even starting.  I don't know.  All I know is that I am trying to make changes and it's hard.  I feel like such an ALL OR NOTHING kind of person, where I am religious in my training or I just half-ass it and don't do what I'm supposed to.  Maybe I do need a coach to help motivate me?  I don't know... I don't know... I don't know... I need to figure out something though.

Happy Birthday To ME!

A friend posted this to my FB wall and I couldn't be more in love.  Anchorman is my FAVORITE movie and I just had to laugh at this birthday wish.  So I thought I would share it with y'all!

I am spending the morning watching live coverage of the Rock N Roll Raleigh Marathon finish line and it's inspiring, to say the least.  It reminds me of why I started running and the joy that can be found there.

I have two updates in my upcoming race schedule.  First, I was scheduled for an Olympic Triathlon on April 26th.  I checked and they are running a Sprint Tri at the same time/location so I asked to be switched to the Sprint.  I haven't heard back yet but I can't imagine why they wouldn't let me make this change.  I feel like I can reasonably finish a Sprint with my base plus two weeks to get back into beast mode.  It's 750m swimming, 16.5 miles biking, and 3.1 miles running.  Totally a doable challenge (I hope).  The second thing I am thinking of signing up for is the 16th Annual NCRC Classic 10K on May 18th.  I need a 10K or Half time to get me out of the last corral at the Disneyland Dumbo Double Dare over Labor Day and the cut off for submitting a time is June 1st.  These are both non-medal events (boo - I love my bling) but both will serve a very useful purpose in my training and for my mental health.

My personal calendar year really goes from birthday to birthday, so today is the first day of my new year and I plan on making some much needed changes!

Facing Challenges and Finding Inspiration

Pack a lunch, it's going to be a doozy today.

I can't recall if I've discussed this before, but I suffer from Bipolar Disorder.  I say suffer because it is just that: suffering - a horrible affliction at its worse and a maddening gift at its best.  Lately, it's been at its worst and I have been terribly depressed for the last few months.  The very thing that would lead me to feel a bit better (training) is also one of my favorite ways to further mentally berate myself (because I have continually failed to commit to a consistent training program this year).  I am SO adept at functioning under depression that people are shocked (SHOCKED!) that I have any problems at all which basically means I kick ass at being completely fake.  Not something one is to be proud of.

Why am I telling you this?  Well, for a few reasons.  I keep having great plans to train and I'm not following through.  I guess I need you to understand that it's more than just laziness that is thwarting me.  Secondly, I am having some pretty rock-bottom moments right about now that I won't go into but suffice it to say, I am struggling to make it through the day while doing so in a way to not alarm my children so they don't worry.  (That sounds pretty grim, but I am taking steps to improve, involving doctor's visits, so no need for you to worry either).

Thirdly, I was recently assigned a buddy through whoirunfor.com and he's a 14 year old boy with Down's Syndrome named Garin.  I am getting to know him and his family and will share more as there is more to report.  This organization assigns special needs kids with runners in hopes they can build a relationship where the runner dedicates their training and races to the child as a source of inspiration to the child.  As I reflect on Garin's challenges and how I can inspire him, I also am thinking about my challenges and how his spirit can inspire me.  I feel like I am the lucky one in this match and I really look forward to dedicating some efforts to Garin if I can't pull out any efforts to do it for myself.

Thanks for reading and thanks for the comments left either now or in the past.  It helps to know someone out there is engaged enough to follow my journey - no matter how many detours I take!

World Balloon Convention 2014

Well, it was like an endurance sport, so I am recapping it, damn it.

I have NEVER worked so hard in my life. It was 7 days of 15 hours on my feet and running around, teaching, judging, smiling, prepping.  Yikes.  But SO worth it. This is the World Series/SuperBowl of balloons and it truly was amazing.  I think it's kinda like childbirth and I'm already forgetting the pain.

Here are some pics of the competition pieces:

 

 

 

Everything you see was made from balloons!  Amazing, right?

I almost forgot the best picture!  I did my nails up like balloons:

Ok - the huge event is over and now it's time to focus on my Oly Tri at the end of the month.  I hope you guys enjoy the balloon pics!!