Let's play, "Will It Still Fit?"

This is the story of my size 10 teachin' pants.  Are you intrigued?  No, not really?  Well, read on, my friends, because it's a tale of terror and elation, with more than its fair share of binge eating!!

So, I teach balloon decor (as well as having a balloon decor business).  Most days, I hang out at home in yoga pants or jeans.  When I go out, it's normally in jeans as well.  But lately, it's been the year of yoga pants.  Stretchy ones.  When I have put on jeans, they immediately get unzipped when I get home and they stay up that way until I change back into my delightful yoga pants.  Lately my jeans have seemed extra constricting since I have been inhaling food like someone training for an ultramarathon.  Except the only thing I am training for is not splitting the seams on my yoga pants during the Dr. Phil marathon on the OWN network. Grim.

I travel to teach and I have nice black and khaki pants in a respectable size 10 that I wear with my logo teachin' polos.  I haven't worn these magical pants since January and they might have been a tad tight then.  But, that didn't deter me from eating a whole bag of iced molasses cookies this week.  Or Ben & Jerry's last week.  Or anything sweet coming near my mouth for the entire year of 2014.  I have been pigging out.  I think I'll blame it on stress.  That sounds reasonable and much less hoggy than proclaiming, "ME LIKEY SUGAR!" like the yoga-pants-wearing land beast I have become lately.

Next week, I travel to the World Balloon Convention where I will be teaching, thus needing my good teachin' pants.  But size 10?  Did I outgrow them?  Do I need to run to Kohl's and avert my eyes as I save 20% off on size 12 teachin' pants?  I avoided trying them on for days and days - not wanting to face that blubbery muffin top or the puffy under-belly-button area that screams, "YES!  I've birthed two ten pound children!"

But, what is this?  The size 10 teachin' pants fit?  I was so happy that I wrote this haiku:


You barely zip up
My size ten black teachin' pants
I'm not too fat yet!

Do you have a pair of pants that are the barometer of your tipping point in weight?