Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Let's play, "Will It Still Fit?"

This is the story of my size 10 teachin' pants.  Are you intrigued?  No, not really?  Well, read on, my friends, because it's a tale of terror and elation, with more than its fair share of binge eating!!

So, I teach balloon decor (as well as having a balloon decor business).  Most days, I hang out at home in yoga pants or jeans.  When I go out, it's normally in jeans as well.  But lately, it's been the year of yoga pants.  Stretchy ones.  When I have put on jeans, they immediately get unzipped when I get home and they stay up that way until I change back into my delightful yoga pants.  Lately my jeans have seemed extra constricting since I have been inhaling food like someone training for an ultramarathon.  Except the only thing I am training for is not splitting the seams on my yoga pants during the Dr. Phil marathon on the OWN network. Grim.

I travel to teach and I have nice black and khaki pants in a respectable size 10 that I wear with my logo teachin' polos.  I haven't worn these magical pants since January and they might have been a tad tight then.  But, that didn't deter me from eating a whole bag of iced molasses cookies this week.  Or Ben & Jerry's last week.  Or anything sweet coming near my mouth for the entire year of 2014.  I have been pigging out.  I think I'll blame it on stress.  That sounds reasonable and much less hoggy than proclaiming, "ME LIKEY SUGAR!" like the yoga-pants-wearing land beast I have become lately.

Next week, I travel to the World Balloon Convention where I will be teaching, thus needing my good teachin' pants.  But size 10?  Did I outgrow them?  Do I need to run to Kohl's and avert my eyes as I save 20% off on size 12 teachin' pants?  I avoided trying them on for days and days - not wanting to face that blubbery muffin top or the puffy under-belly-button area that screams, "YES!  I've birthed two ten pound children!"

But, what is this?  The size 10 teachin' pants fit?  I was so happy that I wrote this haiku:

You barely zip up
My size ten black teachin' pants
I'm not too fat yet!

Do you have a pair of pants that are the barometer of your tipping point in weight?


  1. This made me smile. Love teh mom jeans photo too...When you figure out hot to stop the sugar, please let me know too!

  2. Congrats on still fitting! My recent splurges seem to pack it on much quicker than in the past. Being 40 is fun! I do have a pair of work pants that have no give at all that I consider my barometer pants. And they are very very tight at the moment!