This is the story of my size 10 teachin' pants. Are you intrigued? No, not really? Well, read on, my friends, because it's a tale of terror and elation, with more than its fair share of binge eating!!
So, I teach balloon decor (as well as having a balloon decor business). Most days, I hang out at home in yoga pants or jeans. When I go out, it's normally in jeans as well. But lately, it's been the year of yoga pants. Stretchy ones. When I have put on jeans, they immediately get unzipped when I get home and they stay up that way until I change back into my delightful yoga pants. Lately my jeans have seemed extra constricting since I have been inhaling food like someone training for an ultramarathon. Except the only thing I am training for is not splitting the seams on my yoga pants during the Dr. Phil marathon on the OWN network. Grim.
I travel to teach and I have nice black and khaki pants in a respectable size 10 that I wear with my logo teachin' polos. I haven't worn these magical pants since January and they might have been a tad tight then. But, that didn't deter me from eating a whole bag of iced molasses cookies this week. Or Ben & Jerry's last week. Or anything sweet coming near my mouth for the entire year of 2014. I have been pigging out. I think I'll blame it on stress. That sounds reasonable and much less hoggy than proclaiming, "ME LIKEY SUGAR!" like the yoga-pants-wearing land beast I have become lately.
But, what is this? The size 10 teachin' pants fit? I was so happy that I wrote this haiku:
You barely zip up
My size ten black teachin' pants
I'm not too fat yet!
Do you have a pair of pants that are the barometer of your tipping point in weight?