Wednesday, November 20, 2013

SlugShaming Time - I'm deferring the WDW Full Marathon to 2015

If you thought you smelled tires burning, that was just me over here doing some deep thinking.  I've been reflecting on my Wine & Dine experience (the good and the bad) and contemplating the WDW Full which is 53 days from today.  After much internal debate, I've decided to defer my registration for the full to 2015.  I honestly can't get full marathon ready from where I am in 53 days and I do not want my first full marathon to be that stressful.  This decision hurts.  I feel like I am giving up instead of making a well-reasoned decision.  I think I probably *could* do it, if a gun were held to my head... but do I want my first full marathon to be that dire?  I still aspire to be a middle-of-the-pack, smiling runner and this would NOT be that experience at all.

This is how the last few days have gone:

DENIAL
The race isn't really in less than 2 months!  I have PLENTY of time!  I can ramp up to 26.2 miles before then!  I can lose 20lbs and be faster by the first of the year!  Disney is magic, so this will be so easy!  26 miles, 26 schmiles.  It's not THAT far.


ANGER
Why didn't I train better for this?  Why did I take so much time off after the triathlon? Why am I so lazy?  Why did I eat pumpkin pie for breakfast 5 days in a row?  Why am I sitting on the couch in my fat pants writing this blog while shoving Milano Candy Cane Cookies into my craw instead of doing ANYTHING more useful?






BARGAINING
Dear God, if I promise to run 8 miles every week day and 20 miles every Saturday and Sunday, and stop being jealous I don't have blogging running friends like the DisBroads, and stop eating pie for breakfast, and be nicer to my mother when she asks about my love life, and help little old ladies with their bags of groceries at the Piggly Wiggly, and donate my old running shoes to African villages, can I please, please, PLEASE be ready for a full marathon in 53 days?  I will totally start all that right after my nap!  I swear! AMEN.


DEPRESSION
I suck.  I might as well give up running all together.  And forget the Half Ironman in June.  I might as well eat pie every day through the holidays and ask for drawstring sweatpants for Christmas since nothing else will fit by then.  What's the point of showering if I'm not working out?  I might as well take that nap and rest up for another afternoon of broken dreams.









ACCEPTANCE
Well, the reality is that I have a very busy two months ahead and adding hard-core marathon training would make it about 1000% more stressful.  If I want to be a happy, middle-of-the-packer, I have to work on it consistently and with a long term plan.  I don't want to hate running by making it a punishment.  Disney will always be there and a 2015 race date will give me time to prepare mentally, physically, and hell - even financially.  This is better for me and will yield better results in the long run.  And pie in moderation is still ok.

So, yeah.  I'm still a little bummed, but I do feel like it's the right decision.  Since I made this decision today instead of two days ago, I missed the cut off for it to cost $35 to defer and it's now bumped up to $70.  Still worth it.  It hurts a bit to give it up, but if I listed all the things I have to do between now and the end of January (including a trip to Japan - WOWSERS!), I think you wouldn't be so disappointed in me.  I hope.  Can we talk through this over some pie?

I had plans to start up with training on Monday and that day I woke up with a two-day migraine.  I wonder if the pressure of the training schedule was causing it.  Today I feel better and I think I will look at lightening my training schedule to be therapeutic exercise while I make it through this craziness.  I just know I need to refocus, and hopefully taking this looming threat (which is NOT how a Disney race should feel, ever!) away will help me relax and enjoy the journey.


4 comments:

  1. How did you get in my head to hear all those things...? ;-) Reassessing your goals is part of the overall process. Finding a race, setting a training plan and starting the training are just the first steps of the overall journey to the start line. As you go, you constantly have to reassess to make sure you are on the right path. I've been dealing with a series of small, but bothersome injuries and have realized that the first 2 months of my 5 month off season is already almost over. My longest tri of the year is my first race of the year and the doubts have already started. This might be "off season" but it is when I slow down my pace, but add in the miles so taking time off during "off season" is NOT part of the plan... so I reassess. I think you made a good choice for this race, but come January, you still have plenty of time for the 70.3... if you have the time and the plan to make it happen. Get through the holidays... and Japan... and reassess. You'll make the right decision! :-)

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    1. Thank you so much for this post, Tracey! You always make me feel like I am on the right path... even when it takes some detours!

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  2. I love this post. OK, I don't love that you had to defer, but the way you laid it out was great. I particularly loved the Anger section (have you hacked into my laptop webcam to spy on me eating oreos in my PJs?) and I'm totally jealous that I'm not a DISbroad too!

    I'm in a pretty stressful place right now with work and it's definitely impacting my training and weight. If I'd signed up for a full I'd be deferring it right now too. Glad you got to Acceptance, it sounds like you made the right decision. Have a great time in Japan (so awesome!) and remember that running (and Disney) is supposed to be fun! :)

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    1. Thanks April! It's so great knowing someone has the same struggles. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one with these challenges. I love your blog as well. Maybe we can help each other get through some of this! :D

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